If I was 20 Again…

20 year old me

Me, my mom, grandmother, and sister at my sister’s wedding

I often think to myself, what would the 20 year old me say about the 40 year old me? Would I be happy with what I saw?

I think so. To a point.

I think I would be happy with my 40 year old body. I only weigh 5 pounds more than I did at 20. Not too much is sagging yet. I color the gray hairs. I definitely have better hair since I didn’t know a thing about a flat iron when I was 20. After having my son, my body didn’t have tons of stretch marks so I would be happy about that. I wouldn’t be happy that I am too lazy to wear my contacts though. I would not have been caught dead wearing my glasses when I was 20.

At 20 I was engaged to my now ex-husband. I think the 20 year old me would be sad that it didn’t work out for us. As far as my wonderful current husband? I think the 20 year old me would be a little creeped out that I was married to a man 10 years my senior. Haha sorry honey. You know how kids are.

Would my 20 year old self be happy with my now almost 14 year old son? Heck yeah! He’s such a cutie and he’s athletic (not like me) and super smart (kinda like me).

How about career? Um, probably not. For one thing I work for my ex-husband and although the 20 year old me would think it was great we could get along she would still think it was weird. Secondly, at 20 I was studying to be a Chiropractor. Chiropractor…baker…nope not the same thing. Thirdly, I would have been disappointed that I wasn’t making a million dollars a year salary. Our 20 year old selves can be a bit naive.

I am not sure how the 20 year old me would feel about living in her grandparent’s house which means living next to her parents. At the time I was really worried that the house was going to be willed to me some day and I wasn’t sure I wanted it. Now if you asked the 30 year old me I would have said absolutely NOT! I wanted an 1800s home to fix up with a fireplace and a huge yard and I wanted to live in the village and walk to church. I did get that home in my 3o’s but sadly had to sell it. So here I am owning my grandparents house living next to my parents. The 20 year old is rolling her eyes.

If there was one thing the 20 year old me would not be please at all about it would be the financial debt we are in. It would have terrified her. She would be scolding me right now. “What is WRONG with you?” “How could you have let this happen?” “Here I am working my butt off at 3 jobs so you won’t have any student debt and this happens?” “I am very disappointed in you.” I know, I know. Life happens and that is something the 20 year old doesn’t understand yet.

I would most definitely be pleased with my car in 2015. It kicks ass!

Sounds like there are a few things that need to be modified in my life. The debt being number one. The others are decisions I made, good or bad, that I will not apologize for. They have made me a stronger wiser woman.

40 year old

My wonderful husband and me

Now going forward. I need to ask myself what would the 40 year old me say about the 60 year old me? I am going to work on that right now.

How about you? What would the 20 year old you say? -MM

 

 

 

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