My Child is Not a Child Anymore!

I gave birth to my son December 31, 2001. This year he turned 16. He doesn’t exactly like the term “Sweet 16” but is was sweet for me none the less. Bittersweet actually.

I have seen such a change in him since last year. The moodiness of a young teenager has lessened and a more mature young man has emerged. He thinks of what he wants to do in his future and has already started planning for it accordingly.

When he was just 15 he started working at the grocery store with me and his dad. Cashiering is perfect for him.

I was a little worried, I must admit about how he would take to working. How he would feel with a different schedule every week and how he would juggle school, work and basketball practice. I was right there listening to his words and ready to act if he got too overwhelmed and a couple of times he did, but in the end I just let him sort through those feeling himself. If he needed an ear I was there but otherwise my philosophy so far has been to watch and see what happens.

I can’t tell you how wonderful and how extremely liberating it is for a young person to have a job and to start becoming independent. The money my son has earned has not been lost on him.

Items I would normally buy for him are not quite necessary for him to survive now that he has to pay for them himself. I see him value money much more and it makes me laugh out loud sometimes!

He has opened a checking account, has a debit card, has gotten a driver’s permit, has been looking at used cars and figuring out how to pay for one with his own money and he has become very thoughtful with his new found wealth.

The laptop I am typing on right now was mostly purchased with his own hard earned money. I was almost embarrassed to accept such an extravagant gift from my young son but he said I deserved it for all of the things I have done for him. Also for Christmas he bought a brand new coffee maker for his father which was a proud moment for my ex-husband as well.

Next year, in his junior year of high school he will be attending afternoon BOCES classes and will be studying computers and many manufacturing and engineering principles. He also has his path for college mapped out and hopefully, if all goes well he will graduate from college with a degree in Electrical Engineering with a concentration in computers.

I hear a lot from the generation ahead of me how the next generation is entitled and lazy and whose work ethic is sorely lacking. And do you know what I say to that? I think the youngest generation emerging into the work force is smarter and more advanced than any other generation before us.

They need to be challenged. They need to be engaged. They need to be pushed. They need to be given the freedom to explore and dream. They need their talents used and not pushed aside.

I am so excited for my son. I am excited to see what he becomes. Thank God I survived his terrible two’s and his temper tantrums (because he was a real shit lol!) and those sleepless nights. I keep telling him good thing you were so cute…

How about you? What is your parenting philosophy on teens working? What was your first job? Mine? I was a private gardener 😉 -MM




Random Thoughts

The last two months have been a challenge. I had surgery in September and was on a 10 lb. weight limit for lifting for 6 weeks. That in of itself was a big challenge because all I do is lift stuff at the bakery. Luckily the six weeks went by quickly and I am back to my normal self with only a few aches and pains here and there.

I have been restless though. All of the bills came in from the surgery and added thousands of dollars of more debt on to us. With our high deductible health insurance plan, what we had to pay out of pocket was way more than I expected. At first I was upset, which isn’t a surprise, who wouldn’t be, but after a phone call to the hospital and a payment plan later it will eventually get taken care of.

Still restless. I have been researching what it would take to earn a degree in herbal medicine. I am fascinated with plants and what they can do for us. Alas though, money and time are not on my side so I have been getting as many books as I can check out from the library and devouring them on the topic.

Restless still, I got a new phone after four years and this one actually works. It doesn’t shut off in the middle of using it and it keeps it’s charge. Unfortunately it works so well I can play games on it again. You know those Candy Crush and Pigs flying around kind of games that are super addictive? Yeah, I wasted 3 whole days playing a stupid game on my phone, ignoring my husband and home responsibilities for a genie and gems. I’ll never get that time back. I realized what I was doing and promptly went into the app and disabled it. I felt better after that. No withdrawal, but I felt stupid. A day later the little genie tried calling me back when she popped up on my notifications saying she missed me. Delete. No wonder we are addicted to stupid stuff.

Ok, this restless thing is making me restless. I am a grown woman but I can’t seem to make myself stay focused and get my work done. I know I have a lot on my mind and I can give any excuse I want but bottom line is I have no real routine anymore. Do you find this to be true for you too?

I was watching The Talk on CBS the other day and one of their topics was that Walmart was working on home delivery service for groceries. Great. But get this. Walmart is not only working on delivering right to your home but they will also put your groceries AWAY for you so when you get home your fridge and pantry will be well stocked. So someone will have a temporary one-time use security code for your home (if you have a security system), they will unload the groceries and put them away for you. Seriously people how lazy can we get. How impersonal and removed from society are we going to take ourselves? “I don’t have the time to go grocery shopping,” is what I hear from people. We all say we don’t have time to do stuff. That’s just bullshit. We do have the time.

Here’s an example. I saw a woman, probably in her sixties, cashing out canning supplies a few months ago at the store and I, being my friendly, nosy self, asked her what she was going to can. She told me she was working on tomatoes but she wasn’t doing it for herself, they were for her daughter and son-in-law. “They just don’t have the time,” she said. “They are so busy with their children and they are both teachers.” I tried not to roll my eyes. We are all busy with our children and families. You have to want to make the time.

I haven’t posted in a while other than my SAL (stitch-a-long) posts because, well, I have been doing stuff. My Facebook addiction is done. I don’t care about it anymore so I have been doing stuff. Actually cleaning my house, mopping floors and cleaning baseboards. You know, the glamorous stuff your mom used to do every week. I have been changing bed sheets every week and vacuuming under the couch cushions and down the back steps. I ripped apart the china cabinet and re-arranged and cleaned every dish and glass on the shelves.

My restlessness has gotten less restless. I still have my days where I am not focused and wonder if I need medication haha. There are also days that my brain won’t stop with creative ideas and I have to calm them in order to stay on task.

If you find yourself saying, “I don’t have the time,” stop and ask yourself what you can do to make time for that idea. What can you cut-out? What can you take off your plate to add this one thing you want to accomplish?

I want to make the time to finish painting my baseboards. I have the time for it, I really do. I guess I better get off the Internet then and get moving. I’ll put some music on and a pair of old jeans and I’ll be done by noon. See you! -MM