My last blog post was all about forward focusing my brain and actions towards specific goals. It was about spending less time looking at my phone and not mindlessly browsing the Internet.
During my forward focus in the last couple of months I have seriously been struggling with a lot of things at home and at work. Personally there have been too many days where I have wanted to dump my life altogether and retreat to a cabin in the woods.
After a lot of self analysis I have come to the conclusion that we as humans not only worry too much (myself included) but at the end of the day we just don’t feel fulfilled.
I am tired of meetings. There I said it.
If it is not myself then it is my husband with a meeting EVERY SINGLE DAY. We don’t see each other really at all and when we do see each other we are tired and cranky and just want to do nothing.
I keep thinking my job is the real culprit. “If I could just quit my job and stay home I would be happier” I say to myself.
But after really thinking about my life and other people’s lives I think “yeah but everybody I know works and they seem to be happy.”
I think the real problem, in my case at least, is that I am never really at home doing what I want to do.
My hubby and I over-commit ourselves and not with family outings and hobby kind of stuff either. He and I are capable people and because we are capable people we get asked to join lots of community groups and be members of church boards and such.
Here is a list of my community commitments:
Rotary Member, Rotary Board Member, Chair of Trustees for First Baptist, Choir Member, Pulpit Committee Member for FBC, Sunday School Teacher for FBC, Lead Women’s Bible Study at FBC, Director of our Farmers Market.
Here is a list of my Hubby’s community commitments:
Little League Announcer, Historical Society Board Member, Deacon at FBC, Bus Driver for FBC, Choir Member, Men’s Breakfast Host, Head of Ushers for FBC, On-Site Manager for Farmers Market.
This list does not even include all of the events we each chair or participate in either!
Don’t get me wrong. We love the things we do but I think we really need time for ourselves. My son is going into 9th grade and I want to spend the next 4 years watching him. Watching him at his games and watching him mature into a handsome, sweet, witty young man. I want to write and teach and take care of my badly neglected home duties.
Is that too much to ask?
Quite a few things will be off my plate at the end of the year and for that I am grateful. I do not intend to add anything more unless I have a true passion for it. I even intend to stop some of these commitments altogether.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Sometimes I feel like I am but I am sure I am not the only one.
What about you? Have you been feeling like your life is too crazy too? Let me know what you think.